Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to my little angel. May you have the most beautiful Christmas with Jesus. Like Giovanna said “you will be having some feast for Jesus birthday” you my dear are terribly missed. We will be celebrating and honoring you as we celebrate Christmas. Your stocking is filled with the three ornaments. One for each of us to open. What a beautiful tradition we started last year. What a beautiful way to include you our angel. I love you forever.

Just some thoughts

It’s been so long since I wrote down my feelings to my very special Angel. I continue to feel and smell you everywhere I go. Thank you for that. For this helps me to keep moving forward.
Thanksgiving came and went and Christmas is approaching very quickly. I sit and think of how very blessed we are to have you as our Daughter and to Giovanna a sister. We miss you something terrible. I know you are with God doing really amazing things.
Keep shining and guiding. I love you mommys girl!!!

A really big sign

Thank you Sophia for listening to mommy. I asked you today to show daddy a really big sign. And you continue to blow us away with how strong and amazing you truly are.
Today we bought a big spider balloon for Sophia. That wasn’t my first choice but the only Halloween balloon left. While we were at the Cemetary we noticed a big spider on Sophia’s stone. I guess we were meant to get her the spider balloon and she listened to me and showed her daddy a really big sign!!!!!
We love you Sophia Alexandra





My little buttercup

What a beautiful thought knowing that where ever I am you are. Where ever I go you go. What ever I’m thinking you heard. When ever I need help you help. When I’m stuck in one spot you move me forward. Thank you my little buttercup. I love you

Dear Sophia Alexandra

Dear Sophia Alexandra
It’s been an eternity since I have been able to hold you. Yet it’s only yesterday that I held you. I don’t know where this year has gone. And believe me I can’t remember either. I take a lot of pictures so I will remember what we did with Giovanna the year you died. I don’t remember much of anything. But I remember you And your smell and your touch and your voice and all the things that you did. Did past tense. I hate that when I talk about you it’s in pasts tense. I know you are very much alive with in all of us. I feel you. I smell you. I can hear you. I just miss you. I just miss you terribly. I miss your laughter and silliness with Giovanna. I miss your morning smiles. And how you used to get my glasses and say morning mommy here’s your glasses. I miss our crazy and lazy days. When we would just watch tv or read or go to the supermarket. Your fav store because you wanted shawcolate. I miss rocking you on the rocker. I miss how you and Giovanna would cuddle at night in your pajamas and watch peppa pig or Bernstein bears together. I miss watching Giovanna teach you everything. She misses you soo very much. It’s very hard to watch her pain. I know you are here helping us to learn to live. But we just miss you. As the year anniversary of your death comes creeping up on us. We become anxious and sad and look for ways to celebrate you and us. We are going rock climbing again. We are going to over come hurdles we never imagined trying to jump over. You have enriched our lives more than anyone could have know. You have taught us so much in such a small amount of time. Thank you Sophia. Thank you for loving us and being silly with us and enjoying life with us. Thank you for watching over us and keeping us safe and healthy. Thank you for being ours.

What a beautiful birthday

What an overwhelming, emotional,fun and challenging day we have had today. We started our day with rock climbing. Which was very symbolic of how life is. Life is hard at times but you push through together and don’t ever give up. We ordered a most amazing pig made of flowers made by Wild Orchards of Westchester to place at the Cemetary. We can’t believe just how beautiful it is. Sophia would have truly loved it. We sure did. We released balloons at home and at the Cemetary. We had a fantastic dinner at Ginos trattoria in mahopac. To end the night we had ice cream sundaes. We added “shawcolate” and it was ” delicious” We want to thank all of our family and friends. Thank you for all praying for us and celebrating Sophia’s birthday with us. We are just blown away how many people let balloons go along with us. What an incredible way to celebrate Sophia. What an incredible show of love and support I can only imagine that she is having the most amazing birthday ever in heaven. They would not have had to blow any balloons up. There were sooooo many that went right up to her. Thank you all. We love all of you and feel the love all around us. We are so very blessed. May Sophia continue to give us strength and courage and signs. I love hearing the stories about what kind of sign she has sent. It’s so comforting knowing she is still very much with us and living on in all of us. May God bless each of us.
Happy birthday Sophia Alexandra. We all love and miss you too much.

My birthday letter to you

Dear Sophia Alexandra,
This is my letter to you on your 3rd birthday. I never imagined in a million years that I would not have you here on your birthday. I know in my heart that you are here, right here with us in our hearts and bodies and souls. I wish life was different. But God has his plan for each of us. God had huge plans for you.
On your birthday we will all be celebrating you. We will celebrate the day God shared you with us when you were brought into this crazy world.
It was an afternoon I will have etched into my heart forever. You came out with your fist in front of your face. A little fighter from the start. You were so perfectly plump. I couldn’t believe how fair you were. Blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Although those eyes would change to your daddy’s color of tootsie roll brown. Just like your big sisters too. You did keep the orange star burst around your eye like me.
We couldn’t wait for you to come home. Everything was ready for you. Giovanna helped give you your first sponge bath in my bed. Afterwards both you and Giovanna fell asleep together. Life was perfect.
As time went on and you grew,you blew us away. So smart and funny and such a little scutchie. We thought we were teaching you new things when really it was you that was teaching us. Teaching us how to love and live with no regrets. Love so open heartedly. Live like it is our last day.
On your 2nd birthday we had a 3 tier cake of a cow pig and barn. It was just perfect for my little cow girl.
I hope you have the most amazing birthday in heaven. We will be missing you. But we will celebrate by releasing balloons to you so catch them all and add them to the balloons in heaven. Don’t forget to share some

Balloon release for Sophia’s birthday

In one week is Sophia’s birthday. She would have been turning 3. Just 3. Just a baby. July 29 will be a very hard day for us. But instead of sitting around feeling sad we are going to celebrate. ( well the best we can) We are going to celebrate Sophia and the magical day that God sent us this little angel. Gabe, Giovanna and I will be doing something privately as a family. We ask that you refrain from reaching out to us on Tuesday. We appreciate all the love and prayers that you continuously send. You are all amazing. We are blessed to have all of you in our lives. If you would like to celebrate along with us we are asking that you release balloons to Sophia. Take pictures and post them to Facebook. It’s a way we can all celebrate Sophia’s birthday together. Thank you for respecting our privacy and celebrating with us all at the same time. Xoxoxo

Thank you

Thanks to the Hernandez, Borrero and Peikes families for the beautiful stone in the Children’s Garden at the Mahopac library. Sophia loved playing and reading in that garden. If you are at the library stop in and read with the angels.


My little butterfly

Thanks to the girls in Pound Ridge Giovanna was able to watch caterpillars turn into butterflies. At first only three butterflies hatched. We were worried the fourth didn’t make it. But in the end she bloomed into a beautiful painted lady. Today we released the butterflies. We took them over to the butterfly bush and opened the butterfly house. The first butterfly flew out and flew right over to the Sophia tree ( weeping cherry tree). The butterfly stayed at the Sophia tree for a good five mins.
What a beautiful way to show us that Sophia was with us when we released the butterflies. What a beautiful way for her to remind us that we don’t do anything with her there celebrating life with us. What a great way to start the day!!!!